she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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