Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
