Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
