Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
