Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
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