i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize