She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
why is half of my head shaved?
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