I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
