He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
