I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
