There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
