It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
