foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize