I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
