Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Randomize
