i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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