whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
