I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
