xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
4 words: hood of his car
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
