this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
