highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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