Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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