is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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