Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Holy sore nipples Batman
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
