Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize