I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
