you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Enjoy the penises
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
