You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
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