i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
