I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
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