Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
They have beer where we have blood.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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