I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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