please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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