UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I came so hard my ears popped.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
