Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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