Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
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