On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Randomize
