the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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