She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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