I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
They have beer where we have blood.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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