Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
look no pants
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
