i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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