i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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