sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
