whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
