You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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