If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
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