what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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