worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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