am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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