today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
