She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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