He uses pillows to masturbate.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
