did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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