Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Randomize
