I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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