He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
My vagina just recognized that song.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
