True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
