No, you can still breathe under the balls.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize