it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Randomize
