there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
