Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
